Pics of pure Imaginations

Weird Walking Cow
Warning: Do not view while drinking.

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Can You See 10 Faces In The Tree

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There’s a Face in Here
Can You See It?

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Can You See The Baby?




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Can you tell the difference
between a horse and a frog?
Watch closely

मंदिरात नसतो तु हल्ली ..........,,,,,,,

पु. ल. वाणी

he gave me your email aadress............

Dear All

 

 

Best Adult-Humor

Alahuddin's Magic

Tell me is there any mantra?”

Sensitivity:

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them,” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions?
Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me?
Tell me is there any mantra?”
All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. 

They thought and thought. 

After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealled to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.
Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was - ” THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

The King read it . Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. A calm came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself,” I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He opened it and read it again: “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”.
He became silent. His face went through a total change -from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent ? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.
You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - this too shall pass!

'The Obedient Wife'

'The Obedient  Wife' 
There was a man, who had worked all his life, 
had saved all of his money,
And was a real miser when it came to his money.
 Just before he died, he said to his wife...
'When I die,
I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
 I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.' 
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her
heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money
into the casket with him.
 Well, he died. L
 He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting
there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to
her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the
undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 
'Wait just a moment!'
 She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the
box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked
the casket down And they rolled it away. 
So her friend said,
'Girl, I know you were not foolish
Enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
 The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a Christian;
 I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was
going to put that money into the casket with him.'
 You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
 'I sure did,' said the wife
 'I got it all together, put it into my account,
 And wrote him a Cheque....
 If he can cash it, Then he can spend it.'
 Send this to every clever female you know, and
To every man who thinks they are smarter than
women!!!
 

a lover home during the day while

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her  husband is at work.

 

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , 

sees  them and hides in
the  bedroom closet to watch.

 

The woman's husband also comes home. 

She puts her lover in the closet

not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

 

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

 

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the  boy and the lover
are in the closet together.

 

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy  , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

 

A few days later , the father says to the boy , 

"Grab your gloves ,
let's go outside and have a game of catch."

 

The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"

 

The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that... that is way more than those two things cost.

 

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

 

The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now.

American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the sauna. 

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. 

The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. 

The others looked at him questioningly. 

"That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
 A few minutes later a phone rang. 

The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. 

When he finished he explained,

"That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand. 

The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. 

He didn't know what to do to be as impressive as the 

American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet. 

When he returned,

he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his backside. 

The others raised their eyebrows and said, 

"Wow! What's that?" Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. 

The Sardar explained, "I'm getting a FAX".
 
The other two fainted.

"Please explain the chain between..............

One of the frequent questions by students of psychology is:

    "Please explain the chain between  

Provocation, Irritation,  Aggravation and Frustration?


    The following explains:

    One day Parvez Musharruf, who has a business of selling Iron rods, was sitting in office and got a calllll.


    Vajpayee : "SARIYA (Iron ROD) HAI? "
    Parvez : "HAI."
    Vajpayee : "GAND ME DAL LE" and the he disconnected the call

    -- this is Provocation


    Again on the next day parvez got a call...
    Vajpayee : "SARIYA HAI ?"
    Parvez (trying to be smart): "NAHI HAI"
    Vajpayee : "GAND ME DAL LIA KYA ?" and the he disconnected the  call

    -- this is Irritation  


    On the third day again parvez got the call from Atal Bihari...
    Vajpayee : "SARIYA HAI?"
    Parvez (trying to be oversmart) : "HAI BHI OR NAHI BHI"
    Vajpayee : "ANDER BAHAR KAR RAHA HAI KYA?" and he disconnects  the call

    -- this is Aggravation


    The next day Parvez thinks of taking revenge.. so he calls up Atal Bihari.


    Parvez : "SARIYA HAI?"
    Vajpayee : "KYON? GAAND MEIN DALNA HAI KYA?"

              -- This is Frustration  

A Letter to Every Indian - APJ

A Letter to Every Indian - APJ

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours..
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too…. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr.. Abdul Kalam  

२०१० साठीचे संकल्प... कारणांसहित...

२०१० साठीचे संकल्प... कारणांसहित...
माझे २०१० साठीचे संकल्प इथे देत आहे. नुसते संकल्प सांगण्यात काय मजा ? म्हणुन त्याची कारणं पण देत आहे.
संकल्प १. - सारेगमपाचं कुठलंही पर्व बघणार नाही.
कारण -
अ. - पल्लवी जोशी - आपण तिच्या घरी आरतीला बसल्यासारखं ती टाळ्या वाजवायला लावते. एकदा गीतकारासाठी टाळ्या झाल्या पाहिजेत. मग संगीतकारासाठी टाळ्या झाल्या पाहिजेत. मग गायक .... मग वादक.... मग प्रेक्षक..... मग श्रोते...... मग मान्यवर..... मग ती स्वत:..... असं नुसत्या टाळ्याच टाळ्या.... ! बर नुसत्या टाळ्या नाही तर जोरदार टाळ्या. वाट्टेल ते मॅचिंग करुन, वाट्टेल त्या गाण्याला, वाट्टेल त्या शब्दांनी, तिला ओ का ठो कळत नसताना, मळमळेल इतकं कौतुक करते. अगदी कुणी ढेकर जरी दिला तरी, "काय अप्रतिम ढेकर दिलास आणि माझ्या खुप आवडीच्या ढेकरांपैकी एक ढेकर दिलास म्हणुन तुझे विशेष आभार.... " काय बोलयचं ह्यावर.... ?

ब. - अवधुत गुप्ते तिचा मोठा भाऊ - "अरे... अरे... अरे... काय भन्नाट, सुसाट, अचाट गायलास... मित्रा..... कानाचे पडदे पार फाडलेस बघ... अरे काय साजुक खाऊन नाजुक गळ्यातुन चाबुक ढेकर दिलास गड्या.... एक नम्बर.. माझ्या एकातरी गाण्यात हि हार्मनी वापरणार बघ मी.....

क. बाळासाहेब मंगेशकर - (खयाल गायकी, शोभा गुर्टु, तंबो-याचा तारा, स्वातंत्र्यपुर्व काळ, ज्ञानेश्वर महाराज, आकाशवाणी अशा विविध विषयांवर बोलल्यानंतर सुमारे पावणे दोन तासांनी...) "...१९६३ मध्ये लताच्या रेकॉरडींगच्या वेळेस गाणं गाताना तिला असाच विलंबीत ढेकर आला होता. त्यावेळेस मी तिच्याकडुन वरचा ढ लावुन घेतला आणि..... ...........................................................
.................................................................................. .
.............................................. .....................
.......................... ...........................असो.... !
संकल्प २. - बायकोशी कधीही भांडणार नाही.
कारण - ह्याची सुमारे ६७ कारणं देऊ शकेन पण तुर्तास.....
अ. - ती तिच्या चुका मान्य करत नाही.
ब. - जीभेला हाड नसतं, हे ती सिद्ध करते.
क. - परवा तिनी तिचे सगळे दोष मान्य केले पण पुढे म्हणाली की, " माझ्यात हे सगळे दोष आहेतच म्हणुनच तर तुझ्याशी लग्न केलय. जर हे दोष नसते तर कुणीतरी बरा नसता का मिळाला आणि एकदा जरा आरशात........
.............................असो.... !
संकल्प ३. - खोटं बोलणार नाही.
(हे जरा अशक्य कोटीतलं होतय का ? बर मग ... खोटं बोलुन ऑफीसला दांडी मारणार नाही.)
कारण -
अ. - हयात व्यक्तींना मारल्यानी ब्रह्महत्येचं पाप लागतं.
ब. - ह्या दांडीची नोटीस देता येत नाही त्यामुळे सुट्टीची खातरी नसते. ती मिळालीच तर पकडले जाण्याची भिती दिवसभर वाटत राहते. सुट्टीचा आनंद मिळत नाही.
क. - नेमकं बॉसच्या हातुन पण त्याच दिवशी ब्रह्महत्येचं पातक घडले असल्यास तो तिथं थेटरात भेटण्याची दाट शक्यता असते. ..आणि दुःख विसरायला आलोय हे कारण त्याला पटत नाही. त्याचं तिथं येण्याचं कारण सांगायची त्याला गरज नसते.
ड. - खरच ती हयात व्यक्ती कधी गचकली तर जाणं अवघड होतं आणि मग नविन हयात व्यक्तीच्या हत्येचं पाप....
.............................असो.... !
संकल्प ४. - दारु पिणार नाही.
कारण -
अ. - तोल जातो.
ब. - पैसे जातात
क. - चव जाते.
ड. - शुद्ध जाते.
ई. - दृष्टी जाते.
फ. - मजा जाते.
ग. - इज्जत जाते.
संकल्प   . - कितीही ओळखीची वाटली तरी समोरची बाई जोपर्यंत ओळख देत नाही, तोपर्यंत मी बघुन हसणार नाही.
कारण -
अ. - तिच्याकडुन डाव्या गालावर...
ब. - संधीसाधु समाजाकडुन सर्वांगावर....
संकल्प ७. - पुण्यातल्या पीएमटी बसमध्ये पाऊल टाकणार नाही. (बसमध्ये बसणार नाही, असे लिहले नाहीये कारण आजपर्यंत मला कधीच बसायला मिळाले नाहीये.)
कारण -
अ. - उरलेले सुट्टे पैसे, चपला आणि सगळी हाडं परत मिळत नाही.
ब. - हव्या त्या स्टॉपवर उतरता येत नाही.