master plan..

johny johny,,,

johny johny,,,

johny johny,,,

yes papa,

private company,,,?

yes papa,

any motivation,,,?

no papa,

many tension,,,?

yes papa,

do u sleep well,,,,?

no papa,

onsite opportunity,,,?

no papa.

BOSSSSSSS KI GALIYA,,,,,,,?

YES PAPA,

INCREMENT

HA HA HA .......

लग्नाच्या मांडवात नवरा नवरीला म्हणाला, ,,,

लग्नाच्या मांडवात नवरा नवरीला म्हणाला, 
''तुला माहितीये, लग्न होण्याआधी माझी १० मुलींशी अफेअर्स होती!''

नवरी उत्तरली, ''वाटलंच होतं मला.

आपल्या दोघांच्या कुंडल्या 

जुळल्या म्हणजे सगळेच 

'गुण' जुळले असणार ना!!!!!

An Irishman

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship"

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to th e stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.


With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill'sIrish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. " 'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"

Naughty Joke: Finish?

Naughty Joke: Finish?   A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman  named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome  when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, 'So, you finish?' She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, 'No.' Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, 'You finish?' Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, 'No.' Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, 'You finish?' Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, 'No, I Norwegian'.

मराठीतूनच बोला सारे मराठी रक्षणासाठी...!!

इंग्रजीच्या नादापाई झाला मराठीचा डब्बा गोल

मराठी माणसा आता तरी तू मराठीतून बोल... 
इंग्रजीच्या पेपरात होऊन जाते वर्ग सारा पास
पण मराठीचा पोरगा होतो मराठीत नापास..
प्रेम करतो तुझ्याशी म्हटले की पोरगी समजते हेंबाड्या 
अन आय लव यु म्हटल्यावर मनात मारते उड्या...
माय झाली मॉम आणि बाप झाला आता डयाड
रेव्ह पार्टीत नाचून श्यान पोर झाली मॅड...
भांडण करते बायको घरात बाबुला इंग्रजी शाळेत टाका 
मराठी माणसापासून आहे खरा मराठी भाषेला धोका

मराठी इसरत चालल शाळेतले शिक्षण 
मराठी औक्सीजनवर अन चालू आहे इंग्रजीचे रक्षण...

ज्ञानोबा तुकोबाची अभंगवाणी, आठवा मराठीचा गोडवा
मराठी माणसाचे नवीन वर्ष म्हणजे असतो गुडी पाडवा...
सावध व्हा मित्रहो, जपा मायबोली मराठी

मराठीतूनच बोला सारे मराठी रक्षणासाठी...!!

Sardar Returns............

=======

Sardar declares: .. I will never marry in my life &. . . ..I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. . ===== A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'. ===== Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 2 ltr. ===== Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!... ===== Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab, He wanted to save money so,, what did he do? Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.. ===== One tourist from U.S.A asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village? Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!! ===== Teacher: A for? Sardar: Apple Teacher: Jor se bolo? Sardar: Jay mata di. ===== 2 sardars were fighting after exam. Sir: Y r u fighting? 1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank, Sir: So what? 1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied. ===== Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money. Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him. ====== Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks. He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal....." Finally he wrote the conclusion.......  "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......" ===== 2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy. Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760!!!.... ====== A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati..... Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows? Sardar : Liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ? ? ? ALL WERE SARDARS......... =====  Boss: Where were you born? Sardar: India ... Boss: which part? Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .